I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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