I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
