it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
