The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
