please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
