when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
