By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
