We won't sleep together?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
