i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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