Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We left an ass print on the piano.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
