she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
