i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
