I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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