I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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