the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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