I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
