I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
