Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
