I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
