I have demons in me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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