Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
