suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
