he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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