Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
