Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
