Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
