You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
