idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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