i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
