He asked to "fluff my boner.."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
