So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
