I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
