Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
