69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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