I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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