Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
