What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
