I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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