i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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