and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
