My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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