So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
