it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i've created a new STD.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
