I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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