there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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