i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
