idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
