My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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