Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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