I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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