We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
