dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He better not be in your backpack
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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